Zen Mind, Beginners' Mind

[Julie]

I'm still grappling with the tension of learning alongside vs. needing to be *expert* in something before we introduce it to others. I'm thinking about the freshness and excitement with which we approach our new learnings, our new discoveries. In Zen (about which I actually know very little) this is called beginners' mind, and it is highly valued. Your roshi, or teacher, will always be encouraging you to get back to beginners' mind, the mind that is fresh and unspoiled, where the inner critic doesn't interfere or judge.

This makes me think of a story from my first year of teaching. I was a third grade teacher in, what at that time, was a seriously underperforming school on the upper west side -- and I was so filled with anxiety that I threw up for two days before the school year started. After the first day it was fine, though -- more than fine -- great. Even though I didn't know what I was doing, that room of 8-year-olds and I were having a blast.

In February, we wrote, rehearsed and performed a full-scale musical based on the life of Harriet Tubman. There was a wonderful music teacher in the building and we collaborated. We built rudimentary sets made of butcher paper and poster paint, and dragged through all our closets to find costumes.

The whole school came to see our performance. Later, one of my colleagues repeated a conversation she'd had with another teacher while watching our play. These were veteran teachers who were friendly enough to me, although wary of all my Bank Street touchy-feely methodologies with kids. Anyway, one of them said to the other, "Wow, this play is completely amazing. How on earth did she do this?" The other replied, "Easy. She's a first-year teacher. She doesn't yet realize that this is impossible."

[Julie Miele]

That is a great story, Julie. I love the last line, and it has left me wondering about why it is that as teachers become more experienced, they learn to see more red tape. I found that I had the opposite experience - I became more creative and more optimistic as I continued teaching. I kind of wish I could go back and watch myself as a new teacher - maybe I was "fresh and unspoiled."

I also loved the Zen connection. Letting go of judgement and criticism is one of the hardest things to do in life, I think, since it's so ingrained in us. As Felicia pointed out, little children are so good at this since they're still close to being untainted by criticism, judgement, self-censure, doubt ... I, too, love spending time with little ones because they also remind me how fascinating the world really is and how exciting just about anything can be. I always tried to bring that excitement to my high school juniors and seniors cause they're so over everything. It's important that kids at any age see adults loving learning.

So back to your original tension over "learning alongside vs. needing to be the expert" - that's my thought: it's important for kids to see you excited and awe-struck over what's possible. (And struggling with the process as well - thst's an important lesson too.)

[Felicia]

"beginners' mind, the mind that is fresh and unspoiled" That phrase takes me back to my roots as an early childhood teacher. Before I started teaching 3 and 4 year olds I thought little kids - younger than reading and writing age - weren't capable of very much. I quickly learned how much they could teach me about learning and growing. They were fascinated by the most mundane things - a hornet's nest, pouring rice, mixing colors - the same things that were awe inspiring for me.