Tools

[Sonali]

My story isn't finished but it would be great to get some feedback. It's a narrative and non-fiction piece. Thanks for your help!

[Kevin H.]

Hi
I like the story.
I wonder if you might consider adding some links within the story itself -- sort of like alternative branches coming off the main trunk of a tree. The story right now is pretty linear but there may be some great possibilities there for you to explore.
Thanks for sharing

Kevin Hodgson
Western Massachusetts Writing Project

[Beth]

Very unique and interesting story, Sonali! I can't wait to read the finished product.
I think what was strongest for me was the first fragment "Tool". I think that your writing is effective in describing the viewpoint of a wheel in this segment (although the audience doesn't know it's a wheel at this point) and enabling the reader to feel as though they are looking at the world through a wheel's eyes--particularly through your use of images and historical facts. I also think this segment ends powerfully and makes me want to read more as I want to find out what happens when the girl finds the wheel entry in the encyclopedia.
The questions I have are: When does this story take place and are the two threads--the wheel's perspective and the girl's actions--taking place in the same time period?
Some groupings I can see in your boxes based on similar themes are: Your story is very linear-each box builds on the action from the previous one. But, I do see some recurring themes that maybe could help you draw some connections between them: In "Tool" "The Project" and "Night" there emerges a theme of isolation/alienation; In Project, Assignment and Nostalgia, there is a theme of wanting to differentiate oneself, or react in an unexpected manner to something that is outside of one's control.
I think you have a great start here and I wonder where the story will go next. I am also interested to hear from you who your audience is and what the purpose of your writing is for that audience. It seems as though it may have an instructional purpose and I would love to hear how you plan on using it in the classroom, if that is your goal.

[Mat]

This story is fun to read. As I said yesterday I like the way you jump from the fiction to the reality. I like the imagery of the tool and the many ways you can look at the theme of the tools. Fun story to read. Mabye it would be neet for you to through in more images. I think that is one of the fun things with this hypetextopia putting in the images and the maps and all that.

[Julia Loving]

Sonali, I really enjoyed your hypertext story. The various Global Studies themes were very strong and recognizable. I am a history buff. The part that was most strong for me is your references to culture, your use of time in relations to the "tools" used and the various research related sources such as World Book and Museums you eluded to.