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Mary F.C.
  • Female
  • Bronx, N.Y.
  • United States
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At 5:37pm on July 13, 2008, Ryan A. said…
Mary, what a pleasure to re-read you work this Sunday afternoon. I noticed how much tighter your writing was--the clipped language works, and is definitely a part of your style. Also, the dialogue is picture-perfect. I didn't notice it before, but it was really amazing how you used the car battery as a metaphor for the experience of being revitalized with your husband. Maybe you didn't even intend for this to happen, but it comes through.
At 2:34pm on July 10, 2008, Beth Billard said…
Mary, just wanted you to know this has been a joy to read and hear throughout the process. You captured the frustration and the love. Your husband really came through. Did he read it? I hope he liked it! I think the "nerd" reference is a compliment!
At 2:24pm on July 10, 2008, Eve Andrias said…
Mary, You do such a good job of weaving together details of camping with the deepness of your relationship with Al. You paint such a great picture of camping, one that is easy to relate to, even to me (someone who doesn't really like to camp).
I love the changes you made.
Great!
At 2:16pm on July 10, 2008, Karen said…
Right-way Mary,

I loved your piece! I totally related to the camping experience. My love hate relationship with camping as an experience.

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